


New Starting Point

by XtaticPearl



Series: Tumblr prompt works [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel 3490
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Established Relationship, F/M, Getting Back Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 14:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17286218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XtaticPearl/pseuds/XtaticPearl
Summary: Natasha Stark had dealt with enough grief to get her through the worst but some things managed to hurt deeper. But again, maybe some things could manage to heal better too.





	New Starting Point

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Hi pearl! If you're still taking prompts, can you do a getting back together with stony? Any universe is fine, even au!

There's a clean swept table on the other side of the bed and Natasha had tried to ignore it ever since it became empty.

She isn't counting. It's just been three weeks and four days since the last time her bed was completely warm. Still, she has had worse things to think about through all that time but now that everything is in place, everything is okay -

She's reminded. Of the simple silver-framed photograph and the leather watch with a missing hole. The ring in a velvet box hastily buried beneath dark socks.

Everything is okay with the world but her world is still shaken. The Registration mess has been sorted out, awkwardly and painfully, but her relationship is still broken.

She breathed in the lack of Steve in the air and turned away from the vacant side. She'll cope, she reminded herself for the millionth time since she let him leave. She's had people leave before.

Sleep didn't stay that night either but Natasha was _fine_. She can't have another choice.

The next day woke her up with Jarvis politely ignoring the pillows she had arranged on her empty side and Natasha was hit with an ice punch when she asked the date blearily.

"Do you wish me to arrange for privacy today, Ms. Stark?" Jarvis asked calmly when she blinked hard. Today. It was today and -

"No," she replied, thanking a lifetime of training for the calm in her tone even as she crumbles inside, "We've got work to do today, Jarvis, get Happy to stop by in an hour, please."

Jarvis simply nodded and left her to her space, giving her a minute to bury her face in her hands.

She had been so caught up with the Registration, Steve, and everything else that she hadn't had time to dread today. But it was here now and she exhaled hard into her palms before dragging her hands through her hair.

Right. She was fine. She couldn't have another choice.

Pepper, bless her, didn't miss a beat when Natasha entered the office on-time and loaded her with enough work to keep her running throughout the day. There were meeting that could have been put off for later but neither of them discussed that and Natasha crammed her brain with the troubles of the day, hoping that she could put off the real deal until later.

Later came though, and as she came back home somewhere between midnight and daybreak, she could feel her head throb as hard as her heart did. The Tower was thankfully silent for most part and somewhere beneath her gloom she could recognize that Jarvis must have had a hand in it but Natasha was just thankful for most part. She didn't want to break, not when she knew that she didn't have enough energy to put herself back together.

She entered the kitchen to pick up some juice before she hit the bed when she froze.

Sitting at the kitchen counter, a box of pizza by his side, Steve looked terrible. He had grown out a beard that was mostly badly groomed, his eyes were lined by signs of exhaustion and his entire body screamed despair. Natasha had seen her own reflection at her worst times and knew the haunted look that stared back but she hadn't seen it on Steve. Not this way.

"Hi," she called out and Steve _startled_ , like he was far gone beyond his superhearing that should have picked up on her steps, "You got pizza?"

Natasha was aware of how she looked as she slowly moved towards Steve, cautious like she was trying not to spook him. The situation warranted the reaction though because Steve was staring at her in a way - like -

She had drowned once, when she was younger, and she remembered seeing a hint of light as she struggled to keep herself alive. She presumed she must have looked like this at that time.

"Sorry," Steve said and Natasha fought to not wince at the hoarseness in his voice, "I - Jarvis said you'd be back soon so I thought I'd wait. Do you need - I can go if you -"

"Stay," she replied quickly because she couldn't let him go, not like this. She would always, always let Steve go if it was what he needed but now - she could hold on to him till he needed her.

Steve blinked and for a minute she thought he was going to cry but then he blinked again before nodding slowly.

They reheated the pizza in silence and it was unusual for them to be this quiet but maybe unusual was good. Maybe silence gave them more space to just be there with each other.

She had to drag and convince him to eat with her on the couch but she could feel him sink into the seat with a bone-deep relief. They were halfway through the box and a rerun of CSI when Steve finally spoke.

"I went to the cemetery today," he said and Natasha swallowed a lump but stayed silent, "I think I was hoping you'd come there too."

"I had work," she replied and saw Steve nodding to himself, "Besides, I'm not good at one-sided goodbyes."

Steve did flinch at that and Natasha would have apologised but she didn't know if she had it in her to. Maybe she wasn't as fine as she had thought she was.

"Sam said I needed to talk to someone and all I could think of was you," Steve continued, hands flexing at his knees, "But I knew I didn't have the right to do that so I thought - the dead won't judge you, right?"

Natasha stayed silent but let her feet touch Steve's nearest foot, offering a subtle grounding. Steve dragged a shuddering breath and finally turned to look at her completely.

"I should have apologised to you but I didn't know how," he said, a thousand flecks of pain, regret, sorrow and hurt love in his eyes, "So I thought I should first apologize to the people I promised I won't hurt you. I don't think they would have forgiven me."

"Dad would have," Natasha shrugged and thought before adding, "I'm not sure about Mom but she's forgiven Dad for a lot of things so you'd be fine I think."

"You shouldn't," Steve pointed out and Natasha exhaled slowly before turning to face him completely too.

"Do you forgive me?" she asked because this wasn't about forgiveness really, they would never reach where they wanted to be if it were, "Do you, really? Because I know I said and did things that hurt you too."

Steve stared at her for a minute, eyes flicking down to her hands and back to her face.

"I want to," he said at last and Natasha had seen Steve laughing, squinting his eyes against the sun as he grinned, but this - the broken and painful hint of hope on his lips was the most beautiful thing she had seen. Hope had always been their true form.

"So what are we gonna do about it?" she asked, putting all her cards on the table for once because no amount of defense or walls could be worth the pain they had both gone through clearly, "I know we can move on and maybe one day be okay without each other but honey, I don't want that. I don't care if that's easy, I really don't care if that's simpler. I don't want that easy or simple. I want you and me and our own complexity because I - I -"

"I love you," Steve completed, quiet and firm in a shadow of the man he had been before he left but he was looking hopeful and that was all she needed, "I love you and I want us to try again. I want to choose you and I want you to be able to choose me."

"Even if there are things you don't like talking about?" she asked because this was what had broken them and she knew she could try if Steve would. They had survived and they could learn to handle it better the next time.

"Especially then," Steve promised and finally outstretched a hand, offering his palm, "I'm better when I'm with you and we're good at balancing each other. I trust you and I want to be trustworthy in your eyes too."

"Then we've got a new starting point," Natasha smiled and it felt out of use but she could feel herself getting warmer as she took Steve's hand, "I like that."

She really did, she discovered, when a year later the ring finally slipped onto her finger.


End file.
